day second of vagrancy

it would take me a long time to recount all the perfection in the previous days, with timing, and moving things...so im not going to do it.
God is sufficient in taking care of our lives and the things that concern us.

i have wayyyyy too much stuff.

after my bed left, i slept on a beach/ lawn chair - it was actually quite comfortable. i slept soundly. my cats laid on  my legs. that was a bit rough. they were really calm about me moving around and kicking them off. i think they knew something was up.
saturday was a memorial service for a co-workers' mom. i couldnt find it and there was traffic, and rain. i cried. crying also happened as i thought of my cats during church sunday. kara and jacqueline listened as i roundly condemned my crying as ridiculous. and then they reminded me it wasnt.
i dropped them off sunday early evening, and they were panting in stress...the lady that graciously offered to put them in her backyard is a bit more of a cat person than i, so i rested  in the fact that she wont forget them. her daughter was excited about more animals. although we had to distinctly tell her that tiger-  her own indoor, declawed cat- could in NO WAY go outside, no could mine go inside under any circumstances. my cats would beat her poor cat up.
::maybe they could be friends, if introductions were done right. but who's to know what kind of introduction that would be?::
samantha went with me. spiffy sharted on her shirt a bit. the mark of  a true friend. i wouldve definitely flipped out a bit more.
i didnt cry. as i put the key in the lock for the last time at the apt, i had a twinge of weirdness. there would be no cats to greet me and be all annoyingly up in my business.
there will be no cat hair in my - well, everything.
i can vacuum my car, and no cat hair will be added.

maybe, in the future house, they could come back and stay in my back yard. but i am still praying for someone to love them fully and long- term.
im sitting on the couch that is also my bed for 3 nights. rearranged my stuff in the girls' apt so it  would be less visually daunting. didnt  really work. 
i pray i can be a blessing and not just an added hindrance or someone else they have to take care of.

day first of homeless [prefixe]

so, im not officially out on the streets, but so much movement today!! updated my license, address [for most things], and got my car updated, too.
the great thing, the way God works, is that i get a loner car for the day while my car gets its checkup. too bad our bodies cant work like that. you could go to the dr, but not really have to stay the whole time. let your body get the chemo while you go do errands.... thats a whole other discussion. and we're about "homelessness" right now.  ::JENN- theres a picture of my foot down there. fyi::

desk- its so cute! my table is gone. im sitting on one of my file boxes. im also using my ironing board and step ladder as tables.

thats literally all thats in my living room. i'll be honest, theres something unsettling to me about an empty room. i feel like im going to be attacked. im not even kidding. i feel like someones going to break through the door and get me. and, whats strange- if the room was full, and the door open, or accidentally unlocked the whole night [which happens sometimes], im not as worried. oh, my psycho- logic.

"bed"room. my bookshelf and bed left today, to find a more appreciative family.. cuban, to be exact. i guess i dont have enough spicyness. my "bed" is a lawn chair.  its really empty in there. i might have to take some melatonin. or, maybe i will get under the chair, like the cats are doing! :-p

moving hazard- sorry if you dont like feet!! last night something was slightly in my path more than normal, and i kicked it. unsure if its just a bad bruise or a break. it felt weird today in my shoe.

GOD IS SO GOOD.  this earlier-moving-than-expected leaves friday more open to see some dear friends that i thought i wouldnt have time for!!
i had flip out moments this morning after taking my car to get its check-up...i just was getting bombarded with all the to-do. i cried a bit, but it was very controlled and i focused on the God of my time and reminded myself [and asked him to remind me] that he knows all this stuff needs to get done, and he knows i need help. im still learning how to ask.
being afraid of the unknown, when we have so much resource, and ability to get to resources and pay for them, is actually really silly. my movement into vagrant home life has made me think of actual displaced people more, the refugees, the americans that get dealt a bad hand, either on their own or by a series of events--and im astounded that those of us with steady money and good support systems worry at all.

btw there are a ton of refugees in san antonio, and i can get you the hook up if you want to help with them. they need help in almost every area of life. like the needs of a student going to college; who also  has no parents and doesnt know english [well, or sometimes at all].

sat with 2 girls today, and we are moving forward in  looking at some rent houses together. pray that something in a perfect location will open up, and that we would rest in the fact that God's perfect might not be what we think perfect should be. ive missed going to see the kids at the childrens' shelter.

Vagrant. Vagabond.

 i wish they didnt hold such negative connotation.
 going from "normal" living conditions for 7 years to a more "free" living situation is actually a lot of work. part of the vagabond def is such= "having an uncertain or irregular course or direction."
yes. thats it.
if i knew what was going to turn up; if i knew for sure that a nice rent house was going to be in my near future, i mightve kept more of my things [maybe].
if i knew that God was somehow prepping me for moving, say, at least out of texas...i wouldve gotten rid of more things. if i knew children would be in my near future, i wouldve kept more of the childrens' books i had collected.  as it is, last i knew they were sitting outside of a container for the Medina Childrens' Home.

my bed is definitely leaving this weekend, to be of better use to a cuban family. yes, better use. i think  more than one person in a bed is "better use." besides, it was given me. i can just pass it along! my table and bookshelf were given as well. so they are going to be given again. there are some other pieces of furniture that im unsure about. this is the place where it would be most helpful for God to kinda let me know what the situation will be- i mean, i really love that all-wood, hand -carved end table! if im going to be living here for a while, id like to go ahead and keep it.  its these types of thoughts that are making packing stressful.
BEAUTIFUL friends have offered their homes and space in their homes for me and my junk. it overwhelms me with love. having to take someone up on their offer- well, lest just say i wasnt fully aware of my aversion to asking for help, of really being needy in certain lights.
theres something about not having a place to live lined up....sounds irresponsible. sounds silly.
co-workers and friends will slap the label 'homeless' on me faster than anything. i like the "v" words better. because, i have a home. i have a place of rest. its in my church family, its in my soul, with the Lord being with me. im not homeless. im houseless. or at least i will be. it doesnt feel like a huge deal.  im waiting for it to hit.part of me wants the waiting to take a long time, and [heh! well, "long time" translates to about 2 mo and more] it actually shocks me when i think that we could find something in a week or 2. that the roommate situation could be resolved tomorrow. kinda makes me sad.
a client of my dads has offered to take in my cats [into her backyard] and also offered me a room for free, if and whenever needed. God bless her.