The house starts to feel like home!
I don't have to move to a different sleeping place each week, and I am situating my room the way that feels most cozy. It's in a great place right now- I've actually been smiling when I walk into my room. Next weekend is the projected time in my mind for moving the rest of my stuff out of the Huggler's attic.
If you haven't noticed yet, something I'm working on is capitalization and punctuation. [HAHAH! I had just misspelled those two words right then. Classic.]
Is it just me, or do I seem to get more guys interested in me when I am focused on God? Seems that way, and right now it's like, as I'm considering moving to another country, I seem to be attractive to you all. Great.
Not being settled in my living space had taken a toll on my personality and my joy. My hospitality suffered; I didn't know how to do life in hospitality without offering a space. It somehow felt like I couldn't spend alot of money either. Weird how that works out psychologically. That's such a messed -up word. All the letters at the front. Psych.
God is sovereign. He is over his children, over the good and the bad, and he orchestrates it in his wisdom. --Regardless of how we feel about that, it's true.
He is loving. I just read this morning in one of the Chronicles or one of the Kings- I'm pretty sure its Kings, because I'm reading about a bunch of kings!
Anyway, they are finally done with all their evil, God is done with them being evil, and all of Israel is taken into captivity. The Assyrian king replaces them with little minions. Translated, that says that he sent other people groups to inhabit the land of Samaria, which is what they were calling the land of Israel at the time. So, the new people didn't know God or his laws, and God sent lions among them. So then the Assyrian king sent a priest back to teach them about God. These people didn't start following after God, but God didn't send any more nastiness on them.
Shows his beauty in giving us free will. He gave them opportunity. I like to think there were some people that turned away from their old stuff and started new with God.
It has made me think about how He gives of himself still so freely. We wonder why he doesn't explain things to us more, or make it easier for us to somehow believe him- but he gives us all we need for life and godliness. We must choose it. If some of those people who got relocated back in the day had chosen to follow God, they would've definitely been the minority. They would've had to seek out that priest. They would've been known- not seen at the high places or asherim [I'm just spitting out words- I don't know what an asherim is.].
We want this great calling and great work from God- and his calling us into godliness, to step out and be seen as his, to seek him when everyone else is going the other way. When we are not understood.
It is a great work and a hard one, to take what he has freely given and make it our own. To ask for understanding when the thought isn't a common sense american one. To see how we can live with this new truth in our days. It's a thing that needs focus, and greatness, and determination. It needs passion.
09 August 2013
29 July 2013
last night!
good bye, apartment living [ at least for a year].
theres a weird nostalgia to it all. doing something grown up? --like all the other things ive done arent! :-P
its more than feeling grown. its feeling permanent.
which is funny.
how appropriate= finally when i'm in a house, which would seem the time to buy more permanent home fixtures, i'm reminding myself that i might go to a different country after this, so to not make any frivolous purchases.
enter air mattress sleeping for an indefinite amount of time.
there are some things that are needed, like a decent table and chairs, and maybe a desk. id like to have a tiny desk. and, probably a couch.
my heart is full with thinking of ministry possibilities. not how to minister, but all the prep of what it means to leave the country i have known, with its way of running and way of interacting, and the thought of not being able to take much with me, wherever i go.
last thought: im going to still be living out of my backpack. it will feel weird to not have my underwear in the front pouch, and my clothes rolled up in the big compartment...so i am going to just leave my way of doing things until i get settled. so all my bathroom stuff is going to stay in their assigned bags, until appropriate homes come about.
theres a weird nostalgia to it all. doing something grown up? --like all the other things ive done arent! :-P
its more than feeling grown. its feeling permanent.
which is funny.
how appropriate= finally when i'm in a house, which would seem the time to buy more permanent home fixtures, i'm reminding myself that i might go to a different country after this, so to not make any frivolous purchases.
enter air mattress sleeping for an indefinite amount of time.
there are some things that are needed, like a decent table and chairs, and maybe a desk. id like to have a tiny desk. and, probably a couch.
my heart is full with thinking of ministry possibilities. not how to minister, but all the prep of what it means to leave the country i have known, with its way of running and way of interacting, and the thought of not being able to take much with me, wherever i go.
last thought: im going to still be living out of my backpack. it will feel weird to not have my underwear in the front pouch, and my clothes rolled up in the big compartment...so i am going to just leave my way of doing things until i get settled. so all my bathroom stuff is going to stay in their assigned bags, until appropriate homes come about.
26 July 2013
i have a house!!!
....its not completely final. we will be signing after church on sunday, though!!
i am thankful.
im so excited. i have to keep reminding myself its only for a year, most likely, and to not try and look into replacing the carpet or painting the walls. [ i am going to push for installing a ceiling fan with light kit for above the "dining area" - those low- hanging lights are ridiculous, and they make you put your table right in that spot. so assuming.].
may God be blessed, because i was not thankful or excited after seeing this house, putting the app in, and for a few days after.
i dunno if "you" remember, but a few posts ago i had a thought that all the peace surrounding me, may be gone after a time, and i was sad at that thought.
well, about the time that we sent the app in, the peace and such did leave, and ive had to work now to remember the goodness of God, and be ok with the fact that things wont feel or be perfect.
im so ready to designate "places" for things.
this house will be a house of prayer.
God keeps reminding me that he wants me to be praying. and ive been doing it. im excited to look into creating a little prayer spot in the teeny back yard, and also to make my room a haven, a "no-crazy" zone. we'll see how that goes. [hahah! if i keep myself out of the room....]
going overseas has been on my mind ALOT
ive been asking God to check my motives, and to tell me where i should be. i dont want to get tunnel vision and think that since he made this desire grow in me, that i HAVE to go overseas, and completely rule out doing full time ministry here. i dont want to be closed toward him- i know he has thoughts he doesnt tell us sometimes, and lets us think other things for a while.
before i can do anything, here or "there," i might need to go back to school. earlier when i was looking into the possibility, it didnt seem like the thing to jump into, since there was not a specific end goal, with a specific ministry. once i am led to the ministry, i think i will be able to jump into school easily.
the work might be a different story.
jon was helping me create a letter and a resume, to send to JV, and i saw my lack of composing ability in unforgiving fluorescent. ive been out of school a looong time.
today i started reading The Nature of Space and Time by Hawking and Penrose. i dont know enough of math and science to understand this book, but i underlined the things in the first chapter i dont know, and am going to research. And, im excited about my other new book, There is a God by former athiest Antony Flew.
thats all.
i am thankful.
im so excited. i have to keep reminding myself its only for a year, most likely, and to not try and look into replacing the carpet or painting the walls. [ i am going to push for installing a ceiling fan with light kit for above the "dining area" - those low- hanging lights are ridiculous, and they make you put your table right in that spot. so assuming.].
may God be blessed, because i was not thankful or excited after seeing this house, putting the app in, and for a few days after.
i dunno if "you" remember, but a few posts ago i had a thought that all the peace surrounding me, may be gone after a time, and i was sad at that thought.
well, about the time that we sent the app in, the peace and such did leave, and ive had to work now to remember the goodness of God, and be ok with the fact that things wont feel or be perfect.
im so ready to designate "places" for things.
this house will be a house of prayer.
God keeps reminding me that he wants me to be praying. and ive been doing it. im excited to look into creating a little prayer spot in the teeny back yard, and also to make my room a haven, a "no-crazy" zone. we'll see how that goes. [hahah! if i keep myself out of the room....]
going overseas has been on my mind ALOT
ive been asking God to check my motives, and to tell me where i should be. i dont want to get tunnel vision and think that since he made this desire grow in me, that i HAVE to go overseas, and completely rule out doing full time ministry here. i dont want to be closed toward him- i know he has thoughts he doesnt tell us sometimes, and lets us think other things for a while.
before i can do anything, here or "there," i might need to go back to school. earlier when i was looking into the possibility, it didnt seem like the thing to jump into, since there was not a specific end goal, with a specific ministry. once i am led to the ministry, i think i will be able to jump into school easily.
the work might be a different story.
jon was helping me create a letter and a resume, to send to JV, and i saw my lack of composing ability in unforgiving fluorescent. ive been out of school a looong time.
today i started reading The Nature of Space and Time by Hawking and Penrose. i dont know enough of math and science to understand this book, but i underlined the things in the first chapter i dont know, and am going to research. And, im excited about my other new book, There is a God by former athiest Antony Flew.
thats all.
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