i have not been vulnerable well. and every time i try to be needy, it doesnt work out the way i want it to. :P
im tired.
went to rise above last sun[weekend of helping l clean house before deployment and r being in ER for throwing up and not being able to eat] and God is beautiful. im sad i dont sit in his presence more. im glad rise above is available. i was able to be free in worship, and reconnect with alot of truth. i cried over a certain place. i dont know how to describe it. its the place of passion and destiny that ive allowed to be overlooked, the place where my heart is most satisfied in Him, and what his hands hold, and i think im missing something.
thats the worst thing to feel ever in my book.
i hate it that i seem to be missing the mark. then i looked into that. what mark?
that question took me to wondering if i am too judgemental on myself. and i was immediately reminded to take care of myself. something i try desperately to do and it never feels like its happening. maybe having care for self looks different than ive imagined it? or may be im just having to fight for it.
i only had 3 hours of sleep last night. wading through my thoughts is becoming too much. so. tbc
Being needy is hard. But we are all dependent on something. We are needy people. So don't fight your needy-ness or try to control it. Just allow yourself to trust your true friends, that will always be there for you when you are in need. :)
ReplyDeleteTaking care of yourself is definitely important. And I wonder what the right way of doing that looks like for you right now.
Revelation and answered questions are definitely something you can look forward to now. I hope you find time to ask for those and I will ask for you too :)