did the childrens shelter orientation just now- whoa. theres a good need  there. theres a need for a childrens librarian, an art teacher (preferably retired ) to come in and situate their art room. theres a high turnover rate for those that actually work there. and thats just scratching the surface.
i cant wear flip flops, or shorts above the knee. --i think this warrants a shopping trip. cant wear dangly earrings, so probably dont want to wear a nose ring, and probably keep my hair up too.
the volunteers for the shelters are basically for entertainment.  one of their biggies is to keep the kids from dwelling too much on the past or their situation, since theyre only there for a limited amount of time.
theres a place down the street from me that deals with the more severely traumatized kids, where you mentor and have to commit at least 1x a week for 6 mo. they need men.
one of the programs is run by just one woman, and its for the developmental needs of babies and toddlers. shes over all 4 of the shelters. she needs help.
they always need admin work help.
 i think that setting aside my friday is a reasonable amount of time. yes, i will be tired. i will get used to it.  knowing just a little bit of what it will entail- that i will need to be constantly aware of how much attention im giving to each child, that i cannot sit with one and ask them questions or sit and listen to them for a long time, that i need to give equal physical touch....i can imagine how mentally exhausted i would be, and how much i will need God to step in to help me do right by all. when im at work i try to give all the kids equal attention, and at the most there are maybe 3 at a time vying for my ears and eyes. and thats only in short spurts.  im kinda glad my parents are coming this weekend, and i cant tell them ill start just yet.
the average kiddo stays there 35 days. the max time they can live there is 90.

i actually want these words in the song to be true of me.

i was super ugly to a man in a shop today. he was tryin to be helpful. my sarcasm is what comes out when i am actually trying to cover up my shame, then anger- thinking i can stick a smile on it, release my pain and hope theyll be dense enough to not really hear the hate in my voice, while i still get an easy out and a justification for my sinful feelings.there is no fight left- jj heller

i hope someone will someday describe me as a honey-coated hardass filled with chocolate and peanut butter.

and i have no idea how my heart and brain communicate. i bet those would be some CRAZY convos to listen in on.