i wish they didnt hold such negative connotation.
going from "normal" living conditions for 7 years to a more "free" living situation is actually a lot of work. part of the vagabond def is such= "having an uncertain or irregular course or direction."
yes. thats it.
if i knew what was going to turn up; if i knew for sure that a nice rent house was going to be in my near future, i mightve kept more of my things [maybe].
if i knew that God was somehow prepping me for moving, say, at least out of texas...i wouldve gotten rid of more things. if i knew children would be in my near future, i wouldve kept more of the childrens' books i had collected. as it is, last i knew they were sitting outside of a container for the Medina Childrens' Home.
my bed is definitely leaving this weekend, to be of better use to a cuban family. yes, better use. i think more than one person in a bed is "better use." besides, it was given me. i can just pass it along! my table and bookshelf were given as well. so they are going to be given again. there are some other pieces of furniture that im unsure about. this is the place where it would be most helpful for God to kinda let me know what the situation will be- i mean, i really love that all-wood, hand -carved end table! if im going to be living here for a while, id like to go ahead and keep it. its these types of thoughts that are making packing stressful.
BEAUTIFUL friends have offered their homes and space in their homes for me and my junk. it overwhelms me with love. having to take someone up on their offer- well, lest just say i wasnt fully aware of my aversion to asking for help, of really being needy in certain lights.
theres something about not having a place to live lined up....sounds irresponsible. sounds silly.
co-workers and friends will slap the label 'homeless' on me faster than anything. i like the "v" words better. because, i have a home. i have a place of rest. its in my church family, its in my soul, with the Lord being with me. im not homeless. im houseless. or at least i will be. it doesnt feel like a huge deal. im waiting for it to hit.part of me wants the waiting to take a long time, and [heh! well, "long time" translates to about 2 mo and more] it actually shocks me when i think that we could find something in a week or 2. that the roommate situation could be resolved tomorrow. kinda makes me sad.
a client of my dads has offered to take in my cats [into her backyard] and also offered me a room for free, if and whenever needed. God bless her.
23 April 2013
06 April 2013
look at me! im taking time during the day- morning, actually- to blog! SO WEIRD.
maybe i'll make more sense....:-P
this morning a great man and his wife ( with the kids in the truck) took away my broken dryer for *free* his name is raul maldonado, and hes a metal recycler. he said he might try and fix the washer and resell it, first. his # is 210 609 5824. they seem like a hard working family, and i remember the days my dad started out his own business. its hard work. it sometimes still is.
sometime soon, i will get a call, and the date will be set for my couch, bed, and table to leave me, among some other things. that will be the 12th or 19th. i kinda hope its the 19th, honestly. but, i think it will be next week because the refugee family that needs them has been here already for a month with no couch. i didnt hear their bed status, but they have 4 kids.
when i called sue to ask if i could use their address, she was all over it- even said i could use some of their space for storage, and have their home as a "basecamp" for me. that is such a sweet offer, and one that i will most likely take.i do want to live with some of my friends anyway, if possible. but knowing i have a place to rest. where its just a bit less transient.
i have to tell a story of yesterday! i went to sprint on blanco to get a problem fixed. they directed me to the one in the quarry. at the time, i needed to go down near the childrens shelter, to do my laundry and then go help with the kids. i went down blanco to cross over at fredricksburg...but the street was closed at fresno. close enough. took fresno, and thats where i saw the sign for the free appliance removal! so cool. then, at the launders, there was a lady reading the book God Still Speaks- but she also had a watchtower pamphlet in the chair next to her. i prayed that if she was a jehovahs witness that the book she was reading would show her truth, and get her questioning, and that God would send people to her to help guide with his spirit....and then i felt him say, you talk to her. its so weird, his quick, imperceptible ways. like a little flash. i fought him quietly and without much strength, and decided i would wait until i put my clothes in the dryer. i went to my car and got my reading stuff, and sat in the chair next to the watchtower.
turns out, shes a christian! her name is actually Christina, and she gave me her number. she is a newer believer, but very strong, and evil is fighting for her and her family. she has some jewish lineage- some of her grandfathers- and she has a daughter in law, or niece, who is [her term] "arabian." she mentioned that she loves languages and was looking up pharsee, because thats what this girls' native tongue is. also, she has some deaf people in her family, and her sister hadnt talked to her in years, but recently had her 2nd heart attack, and is talking to her and open about the LORD. she has been helping all of her family as much as she can and is trying to speak about Jesus to them at every point. there is some evil attacking because her family actually was involved in witchcraft, she herself remembers from as early as 6 yrs old seeing visions and what she now knows as evil. her nephew is starting to get attacked and doesnt want to stay in his own room- i think hes high school or college. and she mentioned some friend she is helping, and they have political connections (cant go into all her explaination- dont remember it well), and evil is in their house as well. her heart is for the church to speak more about the end times, that it is near and we must tell everyone in the opportunity we have. i was blessed and i hope to bless her through prayer, and i ask that you all join as well.
the kiddos were great, there were some that were really fussy and then a little one [month old] was drinking his bottle and it seemed like he had a seizure. so the worker took him to the ER- i didnt hear anything before i left. it scared the worker alot. ive had kids and adults have seizures in the dental chair, so it wasnt that odd to me. but i dont know the implications for an infant, and possibly needing to be on seizure meds. and if hes seizing while eating, he could aspirate on the formula.
there are about 3 or 4 toddlers there [all boys] that hate bath time. one of the workers said theres usually 1 all the time, but not this many at once. one was screaming so much, and then after he "toddled" over to me and i just held him. it was close to their bedtime, and so he dozed and napped in my arms. when i finally put him in his bed, the worker was telling me she usually has to sit right next to him for him to sleep- he has to see a person. but how can she do this, with 3 or 4 other children to watch? they werent ready to go to bed, and they are allowed some quiet playtime before. she had another little guy in another room, who never likes to play before bed. he goes striaght to his bed after bath. through all of the bathing time, i was singing to the other babies waiting for their baths, and singing to the boy in his bed while holding the other. i spoke to both the boys, letting them know they can go to sleep and they are not alone, and their teacher is just in the other room. they seemed content in their beds when i left. they need more volunteers throughout the week. these children just want to be touched, heard, known and enjoyed.
maybe i'll make more sense....:-P
this morning a great man and his wife ( with the kids in the truck) took away my broken dryer for *free* his name is raul maldonado, and hes a metal recycler. he said he might try and fix the washer and resell it, first. his # is 210 609 5824. they seem like a hard working family, and i remember the days my dad started out his own business. its hard work. it sometimes still is.
sometime soon, i will get a call, and the date will be set for my couch, bed, and table to leave me, among some other things. that will be the 12th or 19th. i kinda hope its the 19th, honestly. but, i think it will be next week because the refugee family that needs them has been here already for a month with no couch. i didnt hear their bed status, but they have 4 kids.
when i called sue to ask if i could use their address, she was all over it- even said i could use some of their space for storage, and have their home as a "basecamp" for me. that is such a sweet offer, and one that i will most likely take.i do want to live with some of my friends anyway, if possible. but knowing i have a place to rest. where its just a bit less transient.
i have to tell a story of yesterday! i went to sprint on blanco to get a problem fixed. they directed me to the one in the quarry. at the time, i needed to go down near the childrens shelter, to do my laundry and then go help with the kids. i went down blanco to cross over at fredricksburg...but the street was closed at fresno. close enough. took fresno, and thats where i saw the sign for the free appliance removal! so cool. then, at the launders, there was a lady reading the book God Still Speaks- but she also had a watchtower pamphlet in the chair next to her. i prayed that if she was a jehovahs witness that the book she was reading would show her truth, and get her questioning, and that God would send people to her to help guide with his spirit....and then i felt him say, you talk to her. its so weird, his quick, imperceptible ways. like a little flash. i fought him quietly and without much strength, and decided i would wait until i put my clothes in the dryer. i went to my car and got my reading stuff, and sat in the chair next to the watchtower.
turns out, shes a christian! her name is actually Christina, and she gave me her number. she is a newer believer, but very strong, and evil is fighting for her and her family. she has some jewish lineage- some of her grandfathers- and she has a daughter in law, or niece, who is [her term] "arabian." she mentioned that she loves languages and was looking up pharsee, because thats what this girls' native tongue is. also, she has some deaf people in her family, and her sister hadnt talked to her in years, but recently had her 2nd heart attack, and is talking to her and open about the LORD. she has been helping all of her family as much as she can and is trying to speak about Jesus to them at every point. there is some evil attacking because her family actually was involved in witchcraft, she herself remembers from as early as 6 yrs old seeing visions and what she now knows as evil. her nephew is starting to get attacked and doesnt want to stay in his own room- i think hes high school or college. and she mentioned some friend she is helping, and they have political connections (cant go into all her explaination- dont remember it well), and evil is in their house as well. her heart is for the church to speak more about the end times, that it is near and we must tell everyone in the opportunity we have. i was blessed and i hope to bless her through prayer, and i ask that you all join as well.
the kiddos were great, there were some that were really fussy and then a little one [month old] was drinking his bottle and it seemed like he had a seizure. so the worker took him to the ER- i didnt hear anything before i left. it scared the worker alot. ive had kids and adults have seizures in the dental chair, so it wasnt that odd to me. but i dont know the implications for an infant, and possibly needing to be on seizure meds. and if hes seizing while eating, he could aspirate on the formula.
there are about 3 or 4 toddlers there [all boys] that hate bath time. one of the workers said theres usually 1 all the time, but not this many at once. one was screaming so much, and then after he "toddled" over to me and i just held him. it was close to their bedtime, and so he dozed and napped in my arms. when i finally put him in his bed, the worker was telling me she usually has to sit right next to him for him to sleep- he has to see a person. but how can she do this, with 3 or 4 other children to watch? they werent ready to go to bed, and they are allowed some quiet playtime before. she had another little guy in another room, who never likes to play before bed. he goes striaght to his bed after bath. through all of the bathing time, i was singing to the other babies waiting for their baths, and singing to the boy in his bed while holding the other. i spoke to both the boys, letting them know they can go to sleep and they are not alone, and their teacher is just in the other room. they seemed content in their beds when i left. they need more volunteers throughout the week. these children just want to be touched, heard, known and enjoyed.
01 April 2013
i am going to be alright:)
ive been stressing and saving and trying not to buy things unnecessarily...
the taxing this year is not going to be too much! God has helped me be smart with my money- and ive still been able to enjoy myself! how deeply sweet is that, for God to love on me in that materialistic way?!
i can trust him. i CAN. and i am...slowly and surely. its a weird feeling. i still dont understand some parts of all this like i think i should.
[and can i just say, i have noticed more connectedness to him since i have been making more conscious decisions to not sin. i know that sounds really *duh*, but its so amazing. i know ive thought it before- does it really make a difference to stop doing that thing, does it really matter, really? the answer is yes. we get so used to sin. and we "dumb- down" the fact that he is HOLY, and cannot be around it. yes, Jesus covers and cleanses us. but once we know what is the best and what is not...Lord help us. we cant get away from it really, the way we'd like. keep us closer to you.
ive been stressing and saving and trying not to buy things unnecessarily...
the taxing this year is not going to be too much! God has helped me be smart with my money- and ive still been able to enjoy myself! how deeply sweet is that, for God to love on me in that materialistic way?!
i can trust him. i CAN. and i am...slowly and surely. its a weird feeling. i still dont understand some parts of all this like i think i should.
[and can i just say, i have noticed more connectedness to him since i have been making more conscious decisions to not sin. i know that sounds really *duh*, but its so amazing. i know ive thought it before- does it really make a difference to stop doing that thing, does it really matter, really? the answer is yes. we get so used to sin. and we "dumb- down" the fact that he is HOLY, and cannot be around it. yes, Jesus covers and cleanses us. but once we know what is the best and what is not...Lord help us. we cant get away from it really, the way we'd like. keep us closer to you.
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