there is so much in my heart.
i walk around in these times, just telling friends and such, God is so awesome!
encouraging them and really believing Gods best for them, and feeling all chipper.
i dont make time to explain to myself what God is doing.
i talk to others so it will get heard, which is good- theres evangelism and encouragement in that.
but shouldnt i talk to God about what hes telling? have a conversation?
these moments when i really crave to DO things, and be moving, and be around people- i feel alive, but im shoving God a little to the side.
im excited that ive had a free weekend. its been really wonderful; i havent taken a free weekend for granted in a long time, and i dont think i soon will. im thankful for the crazy times, it makes me grateful.
but back to this. yes. feeling alive and doing things is good, but if i dont soak in what hes giving, its not going to be a part of my mind and heart.
i want to talk it all out to yall, but i think i just need to break out of this having people near and get somewhere different.
25 September 2011
16 September 2011
5 benefits.
this beth moore study is what my mind and soul need.
she extrapolated that there are 5 benefits to Gods children.
-to know and believe God
-to glorify God
-find satisfaction in God
-experience Gods peace
-enjoy Gods presence
i was hit like - i dunno what like. hard by something big.
im so not resting and living out any of these fully. which, in a way is ok. i mean, we grow and its a process. some of these really are fundamental and ive been a christian for a while now.
God wants for us what our minds have never conceived, our eyes never seen, and our ears never heard.
this is hard for me to believe. i have a HUGE imagination and think up all this really great stuff. things i think are awesome. its hard for me to wrap my imagination around the fact that his is bigger, and he can do anything--and also that the things he can do, he would.
i want to believe fuly that he has my BEST in mind. i want to seek him out so that what i think is best is the things that are really the best- glorifying him, loving him and others, thinking of others first...theres a slew of extras i could keep typing, but i want to get on to the glory.
my efforts in glorifying God are riddled w pride, and glorifying myself. [im not saying all this stuff to just put myself down, dont feel bad for me...God is def showing me the truth in some of the depths of my heart, and id thought to share.]
there are some verses that she had us look up, and it blew me away. Gods glory fills everything, he resides there, he wont give it to another, its a display of his ability and power, its his name, its his voice, Jesus came in glory, we are called by his glory.
the thing that hit me was, his glory shows up in his creation, and we are his creation. it made me think of that "God shaped hole" or "void"that we christians have talked about.... does his glory reside dormant in our souls, but somehow cries out to be reunited to the one that made us? he will not give his glory to another-- hes fought for us. and he won. and he continues to call to us, because he is rightly jealous for his people.
blew my mind. it gets better!
Jesus in us is the hope of glory, and we are ever increasing in glory!
this showed me how far i am from him, but also all the hope and joy that is going to be in the process of increasing.
theres a few lines that just hit me between the eyes, and im able to believe him a little more...:)
john 17:9-10
"In this context, Christ used the word glory to indicate wealth and riches He had recieved. No matter where you are on this journey to the glorifying, liberated life in Christ, you are His treasure. He does not want to take from you [bolding mine]. He wants to give to you and free you from any hinderance to the abundant and effective Spirit- filled life He died to give you."
i dunno where i got off thinking that hes taking from me. i mean, it does look like taking. but its always just removal so he can give. always giving. i dont want to hold on so tightly to anything anymore. my ideas, ideals, desires, dreams. i want to be open for the giving, and be grateful for all, every day.
im guessing the other 3 benefits will hit me just as hard, so until then...
she extrapolated that there are 5 benefits to Gods children.
-to know and believe God
-to glorify God
-find satisfaction in God
-experience Gods peace
-enjoy Gods presence
i was hit like - i dunno what like. hard by something big.
im so not resting and living out any of these fully. which, in a way is ok. i mean, we grow and its a process. some of these really are fundamental and ive been a christian for a while now.
God wants for us what our minds have never conceived, our eyes never seen, and our ears never heard.
this is hard for me to believe. i have a HUGE imagination and think up all this really great stuff. things i think are awesome. its hard for me to wrap my imagination around the fact that his is bigger, and he can do anything--and also that the things he can do, he would.
i want to believe fuly that he has my BEST in mind. i want to seek him out so that what i think is best is the things that are really the best- glorifying him, loving him and others, thinking of others first...theres a slew of extras i could keep typing, but i want to get on to the glory.
my efforts in glorifying God are riddled w pride, and glorifying myself. [im not saying all this stuff to just put myself down, dont feel bad for me...God is def showing me the truth in some of the depths of my heart, and id thought to share.]
there are some verses that she had us look up, and it blew me away. Gods glory fills everything, he resides there, he wont give it to another, its a display of his ability and power, its his name, its his voice, Jesus came in glory, we are called by his glory.
the thing that hit me was, his glory shows up in his creation, and we are his creation. it made me think of that "God shaped hole" or "void"that we christians have talked about.... does his glory reside dormant in our souls, but somehow cries out to be reunited to the one that made us? he will not give his glory to another-- hes fought for us. and he won. and he continues to call to us, because he is rightly jealous for his people.
blew my mind. it gets better!
Jesus in us is the hope of glory, and we are ever increasing in glory!
this showed me how far i am from him, but also all the hope and joy that is going to be in the process of increasing.
theres a few lines that just hit me between the eyes, and im able to believe him a little more...:)
john 17:9-10
"In this context, Christ used the word glory to indicate wealth and riches He had recieved. No matter where you are on this journey to the glorifying, liberated life in Christ, you are His treasure. He does not want to take from you [bolding mine]. He wants to give to you and free you from any hinderance to the abundant and effective Spirit- filled life He died to give you."
i dunno where i got off thinking that hes taking from me. i mean, it does look like taking. but its always just removal so he can give. always giving. i dont want to hold on so tightly to anything anymore. my ideas, ideals, desires, dreams. i want to be open for the giving, and be grateful for all, every day.
im guessing the other 3 benefits will hit me just as hard, so until then...
14 September 2011
found out 2 days ago that i dont really believe that Gods ever going to give me a husband [ i should say my, but ]
found out today that ive always looked at generational curses as something hurting my parents, grandparents, and me... maybe others around me- but never that i need to stop the cycle for my children. i havent believed that hed really give me children.
looking at some old friends' pics ....seeing how old their children are....
that kind of life seems so far away. so unattainable. one of my friends is getting a glorious house built with beautiful scenery surrounding, and her cute boys and husband,
and im painfully aware of these things being idols for me. and ive learned recently that i cant make my mind or heart different on this matter, and God has to do it.
i dont know if any of yall have ever noticed, but he never seems to do things when we want them done. how long is this going to take.
im reminded over and over my sin of ingratitude. trying to start speaking thankfulness about my life, and the people that ARE in it. thankfulness to the being and action of God.
found out today that ive always looked at generational curses as something hurting my parents, grandparents, and me... maybe others around me- but never that i need to stop the cycle for my children. i havent believed that hed really give me children.
looking at some old friends' pics ....seeing how old their children are....
that kind of life seems so far away. so unattainable. one of my friends is getting a glorious house built with beautiful scenery surrounding, and her cute boys and husband,
and im painfully aware of these things being idols for me. and ive learned recently that i cant make my mind or heart different on this matter, and God has to do it.
i dont know if any of yall have ever noticed, but he never seems to do things when we want them done. how long is this going to take.
im reminded over and over my sin of ingratitude. trying to start speaking thankfulness about my life, and the people that ARE in it. thankfulness to the being and action of God.
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