good bye, apartment living [ at least for a year].
theres a weird nostalgia to it all. doing something grown up? --like all the other things ive done arent! :-P
its more than feeling grown. its feeling permanent.
which is funny.
how appropriate= finally when i'm in a house, which would seem the time to buy more permanent home fixtures, i'm reminding myself that i might go to a different country after this, so to not make any frivolous purchases.
enter air mattress sleeping for an indefinite amount of time.
there are some things that are needed, like a decent table and chairs, and maybe a desk. id like to have a tiny desk. and, probably a couch.
my heart is full with thinking of ministry possibilities. not how to minister, but all the prep of what it means to leave the country i have known, with its way of running and way of interacting, and the thought of not being able to take much with me, wherever i go.
last thought: im going to still be living out of my backpack. it will feel weird to not have my underwear in the front pouch, and my clothes rolled up in the big compartment...so i am going to just leave my way of doing things until i get settled. so all my bathroom stuff is going to stay in their assigned bags, until appropriate homes come about.
29 July 2013
26 July 2013
i have a house!!!
....its not completely final. we will be signing after church on sunday, though!!
i am thankful.
im so excited. i have to keep reminding myself its only for a year, most likely, and to not try and look into replacing the carpet or painting the walls. [ i am going to push for installing a ceiling fan with light kit for above the "dining area" - those low- hanging lights are ridiculous, and they make you put your table right in that spot. so assuming.].
may God be blessed, because i was not thankful or excited after seeing this house, putting the app in, and for a few days after.
i dunno if "you" remember, but a few posts ago i had a thought that all the peace surrounding me, may be gone after a time, and i was sad at that thought.
well, about the time that we sent the app in, the peace and such did leave, and ive had to work now to remember the goodness of God, and be ok with the fact that things wont feel or be perfect.
im so ready to designate "places" for things.
this house will be a house of prayer.
God keeps reminding me that he wants me to be praying. and ive been doing it. im excited to look into creating a little prayer spot in the teeny back yard, and also to make my room a haven, a "no-crazy" zone. we'll see how that goes. [hahah! if i keep myself out of the room....]
going overseas has been on my mind ALOT
ive been asking God to check my motives, and to tell me where i should be. i dont want to get tunnel vision and think that since he made this desire grow in me, that i HAVE to go overseas, and completely rule out doing full time ministry here. i dont want to be closed toward him- i know he has thoughts he doesnt tell us sometimes, and lets us think other things for a while.
before i can do anything, here or "there," i might need to go back to school. earlier when i was looking into the possibility, it didnt seem like the thing to jump into, since there was not a specific end goal, with a specific ministry. once i am led to the ministry, i think i will be able to jump into school easily.
the work might be a different story.
jon was helping me create a letter and a resume, to send to JV, and i saw my lack of composing ability in unforgiving fluorescent. ive been out of school a looong time.
today i started reading The Nature of Space and Time by Hawking and Penrose. i dont know enough of math and science to understand this book, but i underlined the things in the first chapter i dont know, and am going to research. And, im excited about my other new book, There is a God by former athiest Antony Flew.
thats all.
i am thankful.
im so excited. i have to keep reminding myself its only for a year, most likely, and to not try and look into replacing the carpet or painting the walls. [ i am going to push for installing a ceiling fan with light kit for above the "dining area" - those low- hanging lights are ridiculous, and they make you put your table right in that spot. so assuming.].
may God be blessed, because i was not thankful or excited after seeing this house, putting the app in, and for a few days after.
i dunno if "you" remember, but a few posts ago i had a thought that all the peace surrounding me, may be gone after a time, and i was sad at that thought.
well, about the time that we sent the app in, the peace and such did leave, and ive had to work now to remember the goodness of God, and be ok with the fact that things wont feel or be perfect.
im so ready to designate "places" for things.
this house will be a house of prayer.
God keeps reminding me that he wants me to be praying. and ive been doing it. im excited to look into creating a little prayer spot in the teeny back yard, and also to make my room a haven, a "no-crazy" zone. we'll see how that goes. [hahah! if i keep myself out of the room....]
going overseas has been on my mind ALOT
ive been asking God to check my motives, and to tell me where i should be. i dont want to get tunnel vision and think that since he made this desire grow in me, that i HAVE to go overseas, and completely rule out doing full time ministry here. i dont want to be closed toward him- i know he has thoughts he doesnt tell us sometimes, and lets us think other things for a while.
before i can do anything, here or "there," i might need to go back to school. earlier when i was looking into the possibility, it didnt seem like the thing to jump into, since there was not a specific end goal, with a specific ministry. once i am led to the ministry, i think i will be able to jump into school easily.
the work might be a different story.
jon was helping me create a letter and a resume, to send to JV, and i saw my lack of composing ability in unforgiving fluorescent. ive been out of school a looong time.
today i started reading The Nature of Space and Time by Hawking and Penrose. i dont know enough of math and science to understand this book, but i underlined the things in the first chapter i dont know, and am going to research. And, im excited about my other new book, There is a God by former athiest Antony Flew.
thats all.
23 July 2013
kate, tabby, and i had a little bit of a rollercoaster with the house stuff. Dear tomorrow, please tell me we have this one.
when i say little, it was little. we put in an app for one house, and didnt get it. people are cutthroat. esp about houses right now. its ridiculous. and i always misspell that word.
the house we are *probably* going to get is WAY smaller than i wanted- the rooms and bathrooms are small. everything else is fine. i guess the smallness doesnt matter too much; we dont have very much combined furniture, and i have the most. half of my furniture is gone. maybe more than half.
im listening to sarah brightman, and realize its not as soothing as id hoped. bye, sarah. i need some hipster singing.
mumford and sons!
ive had alot of emotions today; some of that was just stress, and i miraculously havent been really stressed in a long time, so it was a very distressing feeling for me. i would rather not. i kept trying to just calm myself down and talk it all through with God. it took me crying 2x and getting really mad at another driver in the heb parking lot, to get over it. i hope he was a christian and it didnt ruin his night.
i have this sneaking suspicion that he is a christian, and that he prayed for me right after. cuz i felt -- prayed for.
i told one of my bosses today that im kinda set on leaving, and am looking into overseas missions. she was really supportive, and reminded me that they will support my decision. im gonna try to catch the other dr tomorrow. shes harder to catch. the one probably told the other already anyway. which would be great. sometimes i think she needs a heads up. or, actually, i need prep to talk to her sometimes. shes so antsy.
theres so many things swirling in my head. address change, getting car reg.renewal sent in time, go to sprint, go to store, get some cleaning supplies and such from riends' house, plan the move, plan a party, keep in prayer, sleep on the floor the right way so my neck wont hurt, find a good answer to give people who have a problem with me sleeping on the floor, make a list of things the new house is going to need, find out what to do with my cats, keep doing rodan + fields, get a washer and dryer, some furniture, and recover my chair. get braces, go to the doctor, take my car to the doctor too. stay present with people at church and friends, stay kind to coworkers.
ive been having such an easy time loving people at wok lately, and i had a "normal" day today, where i got a little stressed. it showed toward some of my co workers. that made me mad at myself. i totally was being unnecessary and unprofessional.
people wont like me all the time.
i thought of this as i was coming back from walking from dairy queen. midnight truffle. yes.
i was walking into the complex, and this is the 3rd or 4th time ive noticed-- the asians in this complex cross to the other side of the street as they pass me. maybe im being paranoid.
when i say little, it was little. we put in an app for one house, and didnt get it. people are cutthroat. esp about houses right now. its ridiculous. and i always misspell that word.
the house we are *probably* going to get is WAY smaller than i wanted- the rooms and bathrooms are small. everything else is fine. i guess the smallness doesnt matter too much; we dont have very much combined furniture, and i have the most. half of my furniture is gone. maybe more than half.
im listening to sarah brightman, and realize its not as soothing as id hoped. bye, sarah. i need some hipster singing.
mumford and sons!
ive had alot of emotions today; some of that was just stress, and i miraculously havent been really stressed in a long time, so it was a very distressing feeling for me. i would rather not. i kept trying to just calm myself down and talk it all through with God. it took me crying 2x and getting really mad at another driver in the heb parking lot, to get over it. i hope he was a christian and it didnt ruin his night.
i have this sneaking suspicion that he is a christian, and that he prayed for me right after. cuz i felt -- prayed for.
i told one of my bosses today that im kinda set on leaving, and am looking into overseas missions. she was really supportive, and reminded me that they will support my decision. im gonna try to catch the other dr tomorrow. shes harder to catch. the one probably told the other already anyway. which would be great. sometimes i think she needs a heads up. or, actually, i need prep to talk to her sometimes. shes so antsy.
theres so many things swirling in my head. address change, getting car reg.renewal sent in time, go to sprint, go to store, get some cleaning supplies and such from riends' house, plan the move, plan a party, keep in prayer, sleep on the floor the right way so my neck wont hurt, find a good answer to give people who have a problem with me sleeping on the floor, make a list of things the new house is going to need, find out what to do with my cats, keep doing rodan + fields, get a washer and dryer, some furniture, and recover my chair. get braces, go to the doctor, take my car to the doctor too. stay present with people at church and friends, stay kind to coworkers.
ive been having such an easy time loving people at wok lately, and i had a "normal" day today, where i got a little stressed. it showed toward some of my co workers. that made me mad at myself. i totally was being unnecessary and unprofessional.
people wont like me all the time.
i thought of this as i was coming back from walking from dairy queen. midnight truffle. yes.
i was walking into the complex, and this is the 3rd or 4th time ive noticed-- the asians in this complex cross to the other side of the street as they pass me. maybe im being paranoid.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)