deeep....

my heart is expanding lately. my Leader, my Lover, the one and only Jesus ( i sound like im at a pep rally! whatever) is reaching inside and stretching. its so wonderful! hope gets bigger and bigger when you let it. it feels really huge and scarey though. i went on a date. he mightve not thought it was a big deal, but it was huge to me, and my poor heart that is slowly becoming rich. God used my fear to push me toward himself. i needed him to calm my heart, and i decided i was going to meet him where he has always been- in the state of ready. and he broke more places in me. it was a good outpouring of lies, and refilling of truth. then, after the date, after finding a freedom in letting someone make more out of me, i found expansion in my spirit. but God is so much greater than just a date, than just a man, and he has not stopped chasing my core. speaking to the weaknesses, and pulling me evermore into places of greater vulnerability! i never knew you could keep getting more vulnerable! being able to speak of my personal shameful weakness and neediness, without being defensive!? this is craziness. its the place where God invites us to know him greatly, and allows us to invite others to know him more too.