i dont know.
ive been on a bit of autopilot, just enjoying things for face value and not really reaching deep. i wonder if the less sleep factor has contributed to that. i think i'll be taking back soome sleep time soon.
skimming the surface of interactions leaves me a bit caustic. i can be rude very easily. i can be flippant and uncaring. like, seriously.
im pretty sure i got slapped in the face a couple times yesterday. proper shame happened, improper a couple more times, and just a few moments of, why dont i care about their hearts? why am i not curious anymore?
its funny. ive been in some very safe circles recently, and im afraid to offer myself. afraid to call those around me to enjoy me, or to just go deeper.
ive been selfish- lazy, tired, and well, no one is interested in really asking where im at, to take time to crack the veneer ive fooled myself with, so whatever.
and seriously, im not really sure about all this. ive just started thinking about it today. im just scratching the surface.
Thank you :) Hey did we set up some time to get together again? My weekend is pretty much booked, as well as Tuesday and Wednesday of next week... but other than that - I'm pretty free :)
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