it would take too long to explain all the ins and outs that God has been taking me through- but its wonderful, lets just say that. i have recieved more of a heart knowledge about how to include him in my day and talk through things. the path isnt perceptible by myself even. all i know is, i was sitting in tension - "how in the world do i grow in these things he asks us to grow in, without making it out to be some sort of work?" which is a really good question. some , if not almost all of the things that we go through and will go through are going to be work. but we shouldnt make the process of knowing God work. yes, it takes work to set up time to have with him, and to purpose to interact, but the acctual growth process cant be worked at- its just supposed to happen like any other relationship.
it seems all so fundamental, but its new to me. real.
sometime this week- lets say tues= im going to look online at potential classes to take for social work, or foster parenting, or childhood development... im scared.
i need to just put all the questions in Gods hands. the biggest one is, what if i make a wrong decision-what if i dont listen, dont take the time in the decision- making moments to just sit and wait? i tend to go headlong once a decision is needed, and just not rest and not really pray. the prayers get frenetic and i dont quiet myself. so this is going to require that i act differently. o.O
I have a problem doing the same thing. I worry a lot about making the wrong decision. It can get sooooo overwhelming if I let it. During those times, I do my best talking with god while I'm driving or in my car for some reason. Lol. All the times that he's turned on a light bulb in my head about which path to take in a situation, its been in the car. But, yeah, learning to pause for a minute and listen is important and hard.
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