heres where i am.
havent felt like ive had a sufficient amount of sleep in weeks, which is not true. something in me is tired.
was offered to live with some lovely people, free of rent, to go back to school if i want.
lease is up in april, so while i was frantically trying to figure out if i was going to do this, i somehow listened enough to reason to see when i could move out. and i have to wait. not that im super gung- ho about going to school. i def need God to verify that it is what he has on the map.
work suddenly got harder this last week.meh. i hate work relationships. and i do love my co workers. its a strange family.
tried to go see sam at the airport last night, and started crying pretty violently- not about sam, really. [sorry, sam]--more like, the welcoming home feeling? the thought of going somewhere? i dont know. amidst the crying, i found a little thought that surprised me. a thought linked to something i thought God had "taken care of."  well, great. then i was getting upset w God and needing to talk that out, but not really realizing it yet, and trying to find the gate where my friend was to be inducted into sa heat. i gave up, and that hurt. but i felt crazy. i drove home yelling at God and crying the rest of the night, crying myself to sleep, and surrendering to reading my bible when i wanted to throw it across the room and act like a toddler.