julie & julia

i just finished reading this awesome book.
slightly crazed 20-something that wants more purpose is a person that could be my best friend. glad i didnt see the movie first.
im really left wanting to cook! i always want to cook, but now i REALLY want to. and i have this little cookbook that is VERY far from being an intimidating french cookbook asking me to cook brains, and scoop out marrow.
its called Lights Out. 60 sensational recipes for late night bites.
makes you think, oh, theyre gonna be easy fun things when you get that weird strong hunger for something.
do you always have fresh basil and clear honey? what is clear honey, anyway?!?
and no one has mascarpone cheese and arugula lying around.
so im thinking this book of sixty fairly short recipes is good enough for me to start. theyre small amounts too, so some of them can be main dinner type stuff for one person. im excited a bit.
[cant you tell? :P]
some of them are just desserts and drinks. we'll have to figure something out. hm.
im thinking movie nights. maybe. we'll see.
i wasnt feeling great at all yesterday and today i stayed home from church. when i stay away for a ligit reason, like not wanting to spread disease, i feel weird. when i just flat out decide not to go, i could care less.
today im feeling better, but slow. i want to go buy some ingredients, but feeling slow isnt the best way to feel when youre cooking.
i have another project, anyway. scrapbooking. and not what your thinking. all that scrapbooky stuff makes me throw up in my mouth. sorry those who love it. it looks good on you- not me. i keep papery things, like cards that meant alot to me. these i will attempt to fix into a book. i dont think i have enough paper to do it all today, but im hoping to make a significant dent.
i will be going crazy by 3, so feel free to call me :) you might have an interesting conversation.

today

after this time of having my laptop not be mobile around my apt, i know for sure in a month or two im going to demand whatever is needed to get this poor flimsy thing off its leash. im making do lately by sitting on the floor and propping it on my couch. makeshift desk.
i was typing floor, and my hands automatically typed floss. guess how many times i type that a day!
i actually dont know myself. maybe i'll count this next week and get an estimate.

ok, back to the subject of my title.
i woke up to kitties wanting to be fed and let out on the porch 10 min earlier than their scheduled time. grrr. i had set my alarm for an hour later and when that went off, i was going to just go back to bed for another hour, but there was a mewling kitty somewhere and it sounded stuck. i went outside and looked around but couldnt find anyone.
it stopped later. since i was already awake and FEELING awake, i stayed up. cleaned the floors[did it again=floss. geez], went to lowes, sun harvest, and got gas all in about an hour. walked to a cafe to get some coffee[and some quarters], started laundry and talked to the manager about this apt.
it is now 10:30.
im awesome. i wasnt even rushing through all my to-dos.

so. the apt wont be ready until a month...or maybe 2. like i said before, im disappointed, but its getting better. im pretty sure i was getting all hyped up about what new things i was going to do in the bigger apt, and feeling all intense about how the new decorating was gonna come out. thats where all my upset has been. crazy huh. boys dont have this problem. some girls dont have this problem.
one of my co-workers/ managers voiced her relief that i wasnt in there yet when the fire happened. i actually wouldnt have minded so much. maybe it wouldve destroyed some things for me, so i dont have to agonize over getting rid of them .
see, i think i have alot of stuff. i like to keep objects for memories. since i have a not so great one.

these past few days though, ive been super awesome with putting things in give away piles- trinkets, books, even dishes. i wont be able to part with any of my pictures/ wall hangings, i dont think. i love them too much.
but, what i have done gives me alot of joy. we need so much less than we have .

i loved walking to the cafe and chatting with the cashier while he got me my kolache and coffee. its not as close as other cafe, but the prices are better and they have less weird hours.
today i need to work on the bible club lesson. ive been putting it off cuz i basically cant just wing this one. im actually teaching it again, because there was onlyy one boy last time and i said some things- pointed out to me later- that werent sound. thank God for do- overs. he knew.

and these last couple days when i was in tumult , he knew. i kept reminding myself of that. and he spoke to me through oswald. that days devo was about disturbed and receiving peace. heh.

i had said yes to moving. and then i get a call after a HARD day at work saying the apt got burnt up- yes, fire- and it will be next month. gah. i havent talked w her yet about details.

i only know im sad. i was somehow getting attached to this new place i havent even seen.

not to mention all the stuff [that was] on mmy walls is off, taking up floor space and there are 2 boxes full of stuff on the floor in the living room and 1 box in the kitchen. and now i still have to upkeep clean for 4 more weeks.
real cleaning is so satisfying because its real, deep, and then its done. a finished work. [not all this freekin upkeep. ] thats what i do only when im moving out or in.

and there was potentially going to be only one more week of community dryer. my dad is going to bring a dryer for me.
and i was getting excited about re decorating. downsizing too. im constantly trying to get rid of things. i did think that this month, since i'll be antsy and slightly undone, i'll more readily be rid of things, so maybe i'll let go easily of some of the knick knacks.

today at work was bad. i cant describe it really, its hard to talk about all that is held in a day for us at SOPD. but i feel overworked. thats been building for months.
work effects my attitude toward spending time w God. im so weary worn out blah and then i should be reading about who cut down what asherah pole? he gently reminded me that his word is deep power love and the Spirit resides there, and "come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and i will give you rest. "
guess im not sure how to come to him when hes talking about what articles were stolen from the temple.
and i bet youre like, ew, she just needs to go to a diff place in the bible right now!
i hate skipping around. it makes me read less and less. and i feel disjointed when im doing that, almost like im being a flake! weird huh.
and im being a flake right now by arguing w him about not wanting to read. i shall readest of mine holy scripture presently.