i had said yes to moving. and then i get a call after a HARD day at work saying the apt got burnt up- yes, fire- and it will be next month. gah. i havent talked w her yet about details.

i only know im sad. i was somehow getting attached to this new place i havent even seen.

not to mention all the stuff [that was] on mmy walls is off, taking up floor space and there are 2 boxes full of stuff on the floor in the living room and 1 box in the kitchen. and now i still have to upkeep clean for 4 more weeks.
real cleaning is so satisfying because its real, deep, and then its done. a finished work. [not all this freekin upkeep. ] thats what i do only when im moving out or in.

and there was potentially going to be only one more week of community dryer. my dad is going to bring a dryer for me.
and i was getting excited about re decorating. downsizing too. im constantly trying to get rid of things. i did think that this month, since i'll be antsy and slightly undone, i'll more readily be rid of things, so maybe i'll let go easily of some of the knick knacks.

today at work was bad. i cant describe it really, its hard to talk about all that is held in a day for us at SOPD. but i feel overworked. thats been building for months.
work effects my attitude toward spending time w God. im so weary worn out blah and then i should be reading about who cut down what asherah pole? he gently reminded me that his word is deep power love and the Spirit resides there, and "come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and i will give you rest. "
guess im not sure how to come to him when hes talking about what articles were stolen from the temple.
and i bet youre like, ew, she just needs to go to a diff place in the bible right now!
i hate skipping around. it makes me read less and less. and i feel disjointed when im doing that, almost like im being a flake! weird huh.
and im being a flake right now by arguing w him about not wanting to read. i shall readest of mine holy scripture presently.