i just realized as i read over the beginning of this- im a little hard to follow sometimes. sorry.

i have to speak. tonight God pushed me into the next level. he only knows how much preperation ive needed. ive been able to see some of it. but just one thread- to have my job/ office go through economic problems and give the people there growing pains with each other [ aka drama to the nth degree], just to push the need for how we relate to change, and make me get up earlier. ive seen such a huge need for praying over EVERYTHING in my life, and God brought about external work circumstances to push me into creating time to meet with him. and opening my eyes just a crack to the spiritual realm. i pray it continues. he started a process of healing in my body, and reinforced to me my desires to be a prayer warrior, to stand in the gap and speak into others.
im going to the Love Won Out conference to get some resource and whatever God has for me. if you have never heard of this- check it out.
ahhhh! i have no idea what my life is going to look like, and im totally stoked!! youth, children, all ages, women, whatever. prophecy [words of exhortation, encouragement, comfort], healing, being a catalyst for pulling people away from homosexuality and into a place of clarity, dancing, singing, whatever! here, there, dental hygiene, not, whatever! sleep, no sleep...whatever.
in whatever he has, im willing. because grasping his hem is my goal. i didnt realize completely what i was saying when i said that. when it was given. it entails risking everything and stepping out into what i hope and believe and KNOW about what he has done and given- what he wants to give us. its showing the crowd all i have. its being needy in community. possibly holding out for ridicule all of the tenderest places in my heart.