wow. i havent been "here" in a long time. feels weird to not have more of my life documented here.
bed bugs may still be present. spraying again myself this weekend.
a couple people suggested moving and i felt that was an easy way out and an abandonment. i dont want to run from my problems . and , that being said, if we cant get this gone by the time my lease is up- oct- i think i will move.
i suggested that if maybe the problem continues, we would have to do more extensive work. theres a part of my manager that feels like shes still in denial with how serious this could be. but i cant force anything and ive been thankful where this has created a voice for me towards her.

saw my cousin stock car race saturday night----OH MY GOSH so much fun!!!! i never thought id enjoy something so inherently redneck.
it was awesome to spend time with her and it was WAYYYY too short.
the next morning we sleepily had breakfast w her boyfriend at the waffle house. i love breakfast out. thats my most favorite thing to eat out. its just so fun to be so sleepy, and its sunny, or not, but mornings are always beautiful, and you get up and out for the express purpose of eating great food and lounging while sipping coffee......its just amazing .
tomorrow one of my dear co- workers is taking me to lunch at audens kitchen and i hope to find something breakfasty. if not, some coffee will have to suffice.
maybe thats why i enjoy coffee and tea so much! its the whole morning aura of cozy morningness.
ok.
so ive been taking time to be with the Lord, and after that great breakfast time, i went to memorial mall in houston because i had nothing to do for a couple hours before going to chat w shelleys mom about the wedd.
had church in the mall. it was perfect, and desperate. reminded me why i was alive . i was struck with the fact that at the very least, God wants to LOOK at people and SMILE at people and let them know their wrong order at starbucks isnt worth the sigh and scowl at the barista that has more than their drink on her mind, and that theyre cherished by someone far more capable than me , but i'll do what i can.
i wish for rain, but i forget that the river runs deep and i just have to dig to use it.
i held a baby today and she was so comfortable. its rare that a baby will let you take her completely away from her mom, sit her in a weird chair, give her a toothbrush, and shes ok with it all!
i found out why im shy to go up to babies and ask their moms if i can hold them. it hurts.