i was slow today, a good slow. there was enough time, enough chai latte, enough walking in the sun and sweating, enough of me feeling beautiful in a dress i love and hardly wear because i like it to feel special. there was a centered-ness, and a quietness. God spoke. thanks tim and jon for the book Redemption. there are things said , things being spoken to some deep places. i havent had time to write out all my reflections..
i have been here 5 years now. this is the weekend i moved here.
i remember the weird sterile type smell of the new apt i was in, the stark lack of furniture, trying to make the things id brought from my bedroom back home work a living room. the absolute NOTHING to do. sitting a few feet from my tiny tv, since it was my only friend.
journaling and drawing and using all the weekends with no friends as a place to heal from the wreckage that had conveniently just ended that summer back home.
i remember buying my first couch about a month or two later, cuz in my mind there was NO WAY id have my first Christmas here without a couch to snuggle on.
3 [kinda 4] apts later, way older, way different, and yet more of me.

this weekend has felt holy unto the Lord, its felt touched.
and im being sifted. kinda hard, looking at where ive really placed my hope and desires. God gives and he takes away. and hes right. and hes good.