i have again stayed up WAY later than planned. each night i think,, i will maybe go to bed before 10...
hah.
i think im addicted to caffine - ok, its telling me that every way ive been trying to type that is wrong. im tired.
yea, so i had a headache today that went away halfway through a very delicious cup.
my day:
wake up, feel less tired than i have in a while, yay....feel great about how i am dressed! get in the car and realize the dress im wearing, really IS too short to be wearing by itself. go back inside and put on tights that make it look way less cute. but i feel better. yay GOD.hes been pushing me for more modesty, which is a hard thing for this girl. hard when youre whole life you believed you werent really worth looking at, so why did it matter? and being skinnier, you can get away with dressing a certain way sometimes, and i grew up on the beach... but i digress.
go to bible study class ,and get slapped in the face with a few things.
1) i dont have a 5 year plan/ idea about what i want in my life/ walk w God.
2) waaaay too early to be talking about marriage. AHHH tender!! stop!!
3) crazy older man that decided to join our class (thats fine), decides to steamroll us with all his ideas about great marriage, hes probably -at the least- 55, more like 60....been married 11 yrs.....QUIT talking! youre wounding me with some of your comments, and this discussion isnt for your benefit! let us talk this out!
recovered in big church. was handed some more from God about being bold.
hes been teaching me about trading my "moses"-- fears, doubts, doing things my way
for my "joshua"-- hearing and obeying quickly, being a yes person for the Lord, trusting and being prompt with walking out what he gives. no second guessing.
came home and had a prayer meeting about kids club. its going to be ok. God is already working in the manager to be open to what we have to say. i wrote a card to her too- she just losst her grandmother this past week, and she lost her brother over christmas. it was encouraging, but i also was REALLY bold and blatant about Jesus and her needing to accept what he did for her need. so cool. i was only marginally scared when writing it. but there has been peace! im changing! im not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for those who believe! [somewhere in romans?!? thats another thing God spoke to me today. i have to memorize where things are in the bible.]
after the meeting i was really needing special time w God. i know when i need special time w him, because my longing will be masked by this intense desire to be with other people. and usually theres a romantic longing wedged in there too. so.
did some errands ---> aka bath and body works eucalyptus spearmint smell for my house, cat litter, and shoes with my birthday coupon from dsw.
wanted to go to grassroots coffee- they close early. poo.
drove around aimlessly, with a headache, wondering if it was sinus pressure and if im getting that thing thats going around, with strep that gets out of hand.
ended up at milanos, on the patio w some great coffee. and my bible study, and then my journal. headache gone.
and, little known fact. so little, i was unaware until today:
heather is stressed out about her birthday.
not because she is turning 29, but because she is not planning anything.
she is leaving it up to a few people who have mentioned in passing, not very forcefully, that they would create a surprise for her.
she has refrained from asking how the planning is going.
she has a growing fear that she will be disappointed in her friends.
it makes her sad to think that she could be disappointed in something done out of love and with the best intentions.
she is tired in her body and tired of talking about herself in the 3rd person. goodnight.
ohh!!! one more thing! sue gave me a necklace called rahab's rope....so cool! rahabsrope.com
it solidified something in me. but im not speaking of it yet.
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