i stepped out into a scarey place today- let someone in on my load.
maybe some of its a burden i dont know....i think its just load. i have a hard time letting people hear my load.
loads feel unbearable when cast in lie's light. i hate lies. but when im in bad places, i cant hear anything else. i cant fully reiterate everything leading up to the breaking point, but suffice it to say, when someone who in the past has almost clamored for my attention then forgets to call me when we're supposed to have a lunch date to let me know shes with her family- ew. EW! and i not worth anything right now? this is the question that gets answered with a no in these moments.
my fragility keeps showing up. its like God wants to do something about my hardness. sheesh.
letting kk hold my tears today was hard, and loving. and im really starting to enjoy busting in on peoples family life. and just sitting, and soaking it in.
shout out- everybody, this is gonna get rocky, i can feel it. if youd like to stay in the canoe [yes, we're in a friendcanoe. the ship was pirated], hold on.
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