broken happened and now its the cycle for filling.

there is a lovely lady in my complex that loves children and knows all of them that live in the apts. she is a christian and i want to be like her when im older and im scared to be like her. because shes kinda weird and makes me a little uncomfortable/ awkward.
but shes living her life out in love for Christ and its real. and it comes easily(or maybe a better word is naturally?) to her. she pushed me in interesting ways.
shes going to be helping me with the bible club and so i asked her this evening to pass out flyers. she knocked on doors. she asked me to knock on the door. i just wanted to stick the flyers in there and walk away. i think she noticed my discomfort.
she helps with other bible clubs and the main "bible club" lady has made a comment that this woman seems to get overwhelmed with certian tasks- you have to give them to her in small doses. i experienced something else. i found a woman who knows exactly how she thinks something should be done, but is very willing to roll over for your idea, and is not at all in a rush.

this is going to be interesting. she and i, with one more lady from church, potentially 10 kids max and maybe some parents. in MY apt. i just dont know. this is going to be uncomfortable. and most likely freeing.
she introduced me to a couple that hosts alot of bible studies in their apt. they get my number, and i might go some saturday. they were the family that almost hosted this bible club. theyre just doing too much.
im worried i"ll end up doing too much. sheesh, what am i saying? i feel like im doing too much already. anyway. sleep is good. thats where i'll end up.

thank you HS Jesus and Father for holding me today. somehow they took away a part of me and replaced it. it might just be a healing replacement, to be truely filled later. but i am comforted.