this woman isnt meant to have an actual job.
thats not what i love!  there are women at work that love working and cant wait to get back to work after a time off, and some do it just to have some work to do. they dont really need the money.
i dont understand this.
i would love to be able to write, and do bible studies w people, and meet up w them, and mentor, and all that.
i  like to think i would love to have children be a part of my days. i say think, because the previous line i have actually done, and know i can thrive there- the second one...havent really  tried yet.
i get excited about planning bible studies and group events. sometimes it stresses me out, yes, i'll admit to that flaw. but i do love it.

my heart wants more than the successful life that the world says iis necessary. AND. i am aware that this might be just what God wants for me. as i hope for something more, i also know that the more might just look more real than what is available while im alive here.

this weekend i had 5 days. i was really aware that God gave me this time and i should use it wisely. i had some things i was planning on getting done. and also asked the Lord to guide my days. he "took away " my time. he filled my "me" time w people. i didnt think i was going to get all my projects done.
the Lord give and the Lord takes away. blessed be the Name. thankfully, his giving back to me was very notice-able. it was in time. i have ended up having enough time. i am on my last project that i was hoping to get done. it may not be completed today, but it will be a significantly smaller pile!

i am aware of the change in my life right now. theres always this outward desire i have for change to be visible when it is mostly in my heart and spirit. so, as im shifting in my inner self, ive been cleaning out and getting rid of outer things.  as i look forward to living more simply and condensed in the physical, i am hopeful for a more extravagant and expanded in the spiritual!